As I've explored in previous posts, my return to creating art was slow. After all, the time span of the previous posts was almost 7 years. That's how long it took me to understand that an artist was inside of me screaming to be heard. It took a traumatic event to really push me in this direction and the turning point came 6 months later in April of this year when I set out to dye Easter Eggs with natural ingredients. After the mild success I had dyeing eggs the previous year, this year I prepared for the event and put forth the effort to yield greater results. I began the process on Friday night and by Sunday morning I felt like a kid on Christmas morning. As soon as I woke up, I bolted to the kitchen to begin unwrapping the eggs. I dyed 16 eggs thinking that if I were lucky I would end up with 8 good eggs. Much to my surprise, not only did all 16 eggs turn out well, they were beautiful. After drying them, placing them in a tray, and stepping back to look at what I had created, I did something I didn't expect to do: I cried. I wasn't crying tears of joy over the outcome, instead I was crying over the fact that it took me until age 38 to believe that I could achieve such an outcome; I was crying for the child and teenager who never believed in himself; I was crying for disregarding the positive comments I had ever received about my talent and for absorbing all of the negative comments and believing them to be true. Through those gentle tears, I released that grief and simultaneously I began to believe in my talent.
|Collaborative work with my nephew|
4-year-old nephew was at my house for the afternoon. At one point, we brought out the paper and the crayons and without thinking about it, I started drawing hearts for him to color. I explained primary colors and secondary colors to him and we talked about our favorite colors. One by one, he picked out the colors for each heart. It wasn't until we were almost finished that I realized the parallels to my childhood. After we finished, I showed him some of the artwork I was working on and the eggs I had made. When we came back to the paper with the hearts on it, I told him that I colored hearts like that when I was his age. He looked up at me and with a smile he said, "I know because you're so good at it now." I chuckled softly and said, "well thanks, little friend, it has taken me a long time to get here."
The unadulterated mind of a child can reveal the truth if we pay close attention. Their observations are honest and invaluable. Between my nephew's comment and remembering my observations and experiences as a child, I began to decipher the great mystery as I understood that art is my destiny.
All current artwork can be found in my profile at Fine Art America. Thank you for your time and your support.
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