The Gift of Violence: Leaving the Darkness Behind

"Sometimes truly horrible things happen in life, they just do, when you least expect it, when it is completely undeserved, but what is important is the way we respond to it. From there, the greatest gifts arise: the love and support of true friends, which ultimately overshadows the initial negative act, but also, in removing ourselves from the situation, we learn just how strong we are."

That was my facebook status from the 25th of October 2014. At that time, only a handful of people knew about the back story to that post. Enough time has passed and I have enough distance from it now to speak more openly about it. Two days prior to that post, I experienced violence at my place of work. I had been the recipient of and witness to my manager's unprofessional and inappropriate emotional and verbal abuse, but the icing on the cake was the day he put his hands over my collar bone and shoved me backward into a wall and paper shredder. As someone who vowed never to remain in an abusive relationship, I saw this as no different. After saying aloud, "this just happened, didn't it?", my immediate response was to pick myself up and to call a member of the Board of Directors. I was out of that office within 5 minutes, never to return. 

Barring a minor bruise on my arm, I emerged from the encounter relatively unscathed, for which I was grateful. However, I had to contend with the emotional ramifications. I did not wallow in the aftermath. I was not shattered by that person's ugly behavior. Succumbing to deep depression was not an option; I had to endure. At that juncture, the path before me was art. Art softened the blow of the preceding events, allowing me the space to process everything through the stages of grief without slipping too far into depression. Within two weeks, I completed my previous collage and immediately dove into my next one. By the 13th of December 2014, I completed:

Leaving the Darkness Behind

Any reservations about my artistic abilities evaporated in the face of this experience. With those out of the way, and with a new chapter of my life before me, I plunged into this piece with new tools and a new medium: acrylic paint. In addition to acrylic paint, this piece incorporates fibrous paper, gouache, ink, and magazine clippings.    

Throughout the creation of this collage, I listened to the musical composition by Philip Wesley titled "Leaving the Darkness Behind". When I thought the collage was complete, the intensity and urgency conveyed through the piano pushed me to take the collage to the next level. In the midst of this, I grew to be thankful for the violence. I had recognized the need to leave that job, so I viewed the act of violence as the universe opening a door for me. Sure, I was scared to abruptly lose two-thirds of my income as well as my health insurance, but my intuition told me to step through that door, ready or not. I could not have lived with myself had I stayed in that toxic work environment. Each day that I worked on this collage, I was comforted by the fact that I was another day farther into leaving the darkness behind.

Featured in this post: Leaving the Darkness Behind 
All current artwork can be found in my profile at Fine Art America. Thank you for your time and your support.